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| Mary Njoku |
Nollywood actress Mary Njoku has sparked a conversation about the popular label “gold digger” often used against women who benefit from wealthy men.
The mother of three questioned what such men should be called when they also enjoy the wealth and generosity of their richer friends.
Njoku argued that people naturally gravitate towards value, regardless of gender, noting that men, women, friends, relatives and even employees all seek relationships that can improve their lives.
She wrote:
“If benefiting from a wealthy person’s generosity makes a woman a gold digger, what exactly do we call the 17 men eating his food, wearing what he bought, enjoying his money and calling themselves his boys?
The truth is, people gravitate towards value. Men do it. Women do it. Friends do it. Relatives do it. Employees do it. Everyone wants to be close to something that makes life better.
The double standard isn’t that people love money. It’s that when men benefit from proximity to wealth, we give the behaviour a respectable name. When women do the same thing, we give it a dirty one.
Everyone loves gold. The difference is in what we choose to call the people standing close to it.”
A day ago, Mrs Mary Njoku spoke about the struggles some men face when their wives become successful. She stressed that a woman’s success should never make a man feel inferior, noting that a man who genuinely loves his wife should be able to celebrate her achievements without turning the relationship into a competition.
The ROK Studios boss, while recounting a conversation with a male colleague, also highlighted how society has traditionally praised men for being providers while often treating women’s sacrifices and contributions as ordinary, expected or even invisible. According to her, women are frequently expected to carry enormous responsibilities without receiving the same recognition.
Njoku had also challenged the popular narrative that women simply enjoy being independent. She argued that there is no such thing as an “independent woman,” stressing that independence is often a response rather than a choice. According to her, nobody truly wants to live alone, but women become self-reliant when they cannot depend on the people around them.
The filmmaker had previously advised men on how to support and love their wives during the postpartum period. While educating them about postpartum depression, she urged husbands to stop trying to bring back the woman their wives used to be and instead take the time to understand and embrace the woman they have become.